No arguments here, however, my copy of Parenthood 2.0 by E. O'Darling-Son, defines sleep deprivation as: the condition of robbing Mothers of sleep so as to cause (but not limited to) a decrease in performance, hallucinations, memory loss and slurred speech.
Parenthood 2.0 is well loved, but it's currently covered in drool, lacking in sufficient caffeine intake to care about said drool and in a crumpled pile on the bedroom floor....Oops, no sorry, that's just my sanity after another night of playing E's favourite game How Many Times Can I Get Mum Out Of Bed In One Night.
Many of you are well aware of E's sleeping behaviours. It is the subject of many a blog post, so forgive me if this entry is a bore, but I recently came across extensive research* on the subject I thought might be of interest. I discovered the five signs of sleep depriviation...if you've had enough sleep to even care.
Here they are:
1. Cat nappping with your eyes open
Example: Staring at the television with the remote in your hand and the sound of your partner/husband/wife/baby/friend talking to you but you have no idea what they said, what is on the television, why a saucepan of water is boiling away to nothing in the kitchen, or why you're still in your pajamas at 2.30pm on a Wednesday afternoon.
2. Hallucinations
Example: Mistaking the tub of sour cream for double cream and serving the freshly baked Orange and Poppy Seed cake with the delicious 'cream' to friends and family who popped over for morning tea.
3. Slurred speech
Example: Trying to explain to your girlfriend that you don't mind if she takes a rain cheque on lunch because 'I don't know where..., perhaps...,um....maybe if we just..., yeah sure. Ok.' To which your supportive friend replies, 'Why don't you get an early night and I'll call you tomorrow.'
4. Memory loss
Example: After talking to a girlfriend about her impending nupitals for half an hour, you ask her how her wedding plans are going because you feel like you haven't talked about anything other than your baby in a long time.
5. Unexplainable Europhia
Example: Extreme excitement and/or happiness to the point of crying ALL the time. This symptom is highly visible when the victim finds herself in the following situations (plus many others): watching kittens play in the window of a pet store; finding just enough milk in the fridge for one cup of tea; when contemplating a hot shower - without the baby monitor perched on the vanity; whilst enjoying a hot shower; and last but definitley not least, when she crawls into bed...eventually.
*conducted by the Author in the past week however it is anticipated this research will continue for several months.
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