After more than four months of E's constant night waking - ranging from every 4 hours to every hour - Teach and I have decided to try and teach E to self-settle during the night.
Self-settling is also referred to as Controlled Crying (CC), Crying it Out (CIO), Sleep Training (ST) and Controlled Comforting (again CC). No matter what you want to call it, it's a controversial subject. Many wise women before me *cough* have prepared papers on the pros and cons of CC, some declaring it causes psychological harm on the child and instils a sense of abandonment. Others say allowing a baby to cry and fall asleep on their own (without being fed, rocked, nursed etc...) will not harm them in and infact could teach children resilience.
Whatever your stand point, making the decision to go down the path of tough love is / was incredibly difficult for Teach and I. It'll be an even harder one to go through with because we find ourselves torn between our hearts and our heads in a bid to get our little man to sleep better.
I'll admit that our desire to teach E to sleep is purely selfish. He is, more often than not, a very happy, calm and playful little boy. He sleeps well most days - I was able to teach him how to self-settle during the day and he now enjoys two x 2 hour sleeps most days - but our night times are rough and slowly going backwards.
Just last night, for example, he woke every hour on the hour, except one 2.5 hour sleep between 2am and 4.30am, compared to the previous night when he'd mix it up a little and sleep for 2 hours, then 1 hour, then back to 2.5 then back to 1.5 hours. I felt like a Jack in the box.
Honestly, half of me doesn't mind. E's never been all-nighter. If he woke up once or twice at night I think I could handle that (and at this stage that would be considered a blessing) but after several months of constant waking I no longer believe it's a 'developmental phase' or 'teething' or 'hunger' - we've tried every trick in the book during the day to try and assist his sleeping at night, but the problem has only snowballed.
So here we are. Ready to give this self-settling gig another crack. We tried it close to a month ago and successfully got E waking once a night. Oh the serenity! Unfortunately a few days later he suffered a high fever for three days and we plummeted back to square one with a thud. Now, Teach and I are prepared with an armful of readings found by our good friend 'Google', re-read several books we've worked with before and have a healthy dose of Fingers Crossed. I just need to inform our neighbours so the cops don't knock down our door and let E know I won't open the milk bar again 'til 7am. I'm sure he'll understand. So why am I so anxious?
In an effort to process all this, I've decided to drag you along on the 'joyful' journey. I'm warning you I'll need all the 'Buck up, Kiddo' support I can get. Plus, I think it's important Mums talk honestly about these early days so we all know we're not alone. I have to remind myself of that every now and again too! Here it goes...
Have you tried self-settling or controlled crying? Was it successful or more harmful than good? I'd love to hear your story.
ON A SIDE NOTE:
To chat with other Mums about parenthood, babies, and life in general in a safe and welcoming environment I highly recommend becoming a Sunny Mummy.
Save Our Sleep and Baby Love are two books I've found very helpful to date - if only they could be useful at 3am and put E back to sleep!
If you require further assistance or need to talk to a professional about deeper issues please contact Beyond Blue.
*This diary is for entertainment purposes only and is not a step-by-step guide to CC for parents. This diary and all subsequent entries pertaining to this subject should not be, in any circumstance, be used or referred to as a sleeping resource for your child.
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